Rules Of Flirting At Workplace

Written by: Ungender Blog Team

Indian millennials spend on an average 52 hours a week at their workplace. It is quite natural to develop strong friendships with peers or even romantic relationships. We are humans and flirting at workplace is inevitable. However, you got to maintain the sanctity of the workplace in order to create a safe and professional environment for everyone. 

Receiving compliments on your looks, getting a flirty text message, a smile across the room or a random hug may feel great if it comes from the right person at the right time. These all are instances of flirting but the same text or the same compliment might get creepy and annoying if you get it from the wrong person. An unwanted touch can make you feel uncomfortable. 

Flirting or Sexual Harassment

So how do you ensure you stay on the right side of it? How to ensure that flirting at workplace does not become harassment. Despite having an entire law on prevention of sexual harassment at workplace, defining workplace harassment is the hardest part of all. There is a fine line difference between flirting and harassment. Flirting is casual and playful. It is typically when you do something to attract the attention of someone or charm your way in. However, sexual harassment is crossing other people’s sexual boundaries. It may be in the shape of comments about another person’s body which is of a sexual nature, display of photos with sexual content, emails, pictures, and texts and/or physical touches/abuse and sexual references to sex or demands for sex. 

Know the Difference

You cannot camouflage harassment as innocent flirting. Many men accused of harassment plead this defense of ‘innocent flirting’.  Calling a woman ‘sexy’ in a professional environment, touching her without consent, passing sexual innuendos or repeatedly asking for some kind of physical involvement cannot be called ‘innocent flirtation’. The reason why this difference is confusing to men is that they see the world, and women, from a limit point of view (that of a man). In a deeply patriarchal society, men fail to understand that there is a difference between playful flirtation and unwelcome sexual advances. The key difference is being ‘unwelcome’. 

To be on the safe side ensure flirting is reciprocated and does not turn into sexual harassment at any point. Sexual harassment is a one-way interaction which makes the receiver feel uncomfortable, and within themselves, they carry a negative emotional feeling of grudge and hatred.  Ensure to follow this outside your workplace too.

So the bottom line is flirting becomes harassment when it is unwanted and persistent. Non-consensual touching, using of position of power to talk in a creepy way, asking for dinner dates after constant denials, wolf-whistling are categorical instances of harassment. You can’t say it is just innocent flirting. 

Checklist

It is pertinent for any organisation to categorically differentiate between flirting and harassment in order to avoid any type of issues between coworkers. Every individual should follow this checklist before indulging into flirting at workplace  –  

1. Carefully read the policy of the company regarding flirting with coworkers. They are organisation which prohibits dating coworkers. If that is the case, indulging in flirting might cause problems for both the individuals. Even if an organisation permits dating, flirting becomes acceptable only when there is consent between the two individuals. 
2. If you coworker feels uncomfortable then should take his or her reaction into consideration. Take no as an answer and amend your behavior accordingly. If you shamelessly continue flirting, you coworker might report to your HR about your unprofessional behaviour. 
3. Ask yourself if the way in which you are making an advance likely to intimidate or scare the person? If the answer is yes, you must abort the mission. 
4. If you’re worried your office flirting may be construed as sexual harassment, then you’re probably flirting.

People enjoy flirting, it makes them feel good. Sexual harassment is just the opposite. It is about forcing your will on another person without having any regard for their desire. 

Also Read: It Is Time To Review Your Anti-Sexual Harassment Policy

About the author: This post has been authored by the Ungender Blog Team

Ungender Insights is the product of our learning from advisory work at Ungender. Our team specializes in advising workplaces on workplace diversity and inclusion. Write to us at contact@ungender.in to understand how we can partner with your organization to build a more inclusive workplace.