Men and Women, what are you not supposed to bring to the workplace with you.

With men and women coming together in the workplace on a daily basis, maintaining a degree of professionalism becomes important to ensure positive professional engagements. However, more often than not, working together for prolonged duration becomes a reason for employees to try and make their relationships with their co-workers more personal. The inability of opposite genders to maintain professionalism in their interactions can ruin work culture and take away from the decorum that a professional environment demands. We asked both sides of genders to tell us they think the other must not bring things to the workplace:

Opinions on others appearance: Be it compliment or criticism

Regardless of how good or bad a person looks, compliments or criticisms about another co-worker’s physical appearance do not find place in the workplace. A co-worker’s work profile and output has nothing to do with how they look, dress-up or maintain their “good shape”. Moreover, every individual may give and interpret a compliment differently which leads to unnecessary conversations not at all connected with the work profile. What maybe a friendly gesture to one, may be seen as an unwanted come-on by another.

Is there any situation where it is acceptable? We got answers to the “very” specific instances where a role or position requires maintaining a good figure and fitness level. Some of the examples that came up were mainly for modelling industry, sports fraternity – and the list ended here.

Assumptions on people’s comfort levels: Not giving personal space when communicating in person

The term ‘personal space’ generally refers to the physical distance between two people in a social, family, or work environment. Staying out of other people’s personal space is a long-standing rule of good social etiquette. Standing too close to a person while talking to them makes them uncomfortable, even more so if they get anxious easily. A safe practice would be to stand at least 3 to 10 feet away from a co-worker. Other safe practices to respect another co-worker’s personal space would be to knock on the door before entering their cabin/office, and not looking over another co-worker’s shoulders as they work.

In today’s digital world, the term ‘personal space’ also extends to digital communications. Reading someone else’s emails or messages, or constantly sending them a barrage of mails/messages may also be considered a violation of another’s personal space.

Your inability to look away – Unwanted Glances for too long and wrong focus on the body:

Staring at someone for duration beyond required is not appropriate especially at workplaces. During professional conduct, while it is important to maintain eye contact with your colleagues, paying too much attention to any other body part other than their face is considered unprofessional and rude.  Not only does this make your audience uncomfortable, it also takes away their focus from the content of the conversation. Moreover, it may also amount to sexual harassment.

Based on the inputs received by men and women during our workshops and online discussions, this behavioral trait is not common to one gender and in fact is experienced by men too. The general assumption that it is always the men with predator sight is getting defied as more and more are opening up about their experiences with female colleagues at workplaces.

Your inability to keep your hands to yourself – Physical contact:

There are distinct boundaries when it comes to touching in the workplace. The only conventional workplace touch is a handshake, unless you are in an industry that requires physical contact (such as a massage therapist, a doctor, hair stylist, dentist or a similar profession). Otherwise, it is a safe choice to keep your hands to yourself. It may leave someone open to misinterpretation or accusations of harassment, if the other person feels uncomfortable by your touch.

Certain gestures in the workplace are unmistakable offensive or sexual, but many people do not recognize the other forms of physical contact that might be uncomfortable to others. There are forms of touching that are rarely considered offensive outside the workplace, but can be misconstrued inside it.  Casually putting a hand around someone’s shoulder or a “funny” slap on the behind may be misinterpreted.

Your body language from your home or your social gatherings – Watch what your physical actions are communicating to others

Body language includes actions and ways of behaving. Right body language in the workplace is as influential as other verbal forms of communication.

Wrong body language can create a negative impression. Twirling one’s hair, playing with one’s earrings or necklace, or just moving one’s hands back and forth may not only distract other co-workers in the workplace, but may also show one’s lack of confidence. Similarly, scratching on inappropriate areas of your body or picking your nose and ears are another form bad body language for people around you.

These instances have been shared by both sides of the genders expressing the constant discomfort such personality traits cause at workplaces.

Your personal opinions on genders and how they should behave – Words and statements that should have been left outside office

Sensitivity when it comes to verbal communication in the workplace is very important. It allows for appropriate and positive engagements without offending anyone.

Men must use appropriate language and conversation mannerisms in order to have positive engagements with women. Making sexist jokes and sexist remarks like “You should get back to the kitchen, where you belong”, or “Why don’t you sit there and look pretty” are unwarranted and trivialize the ability of women to be equal contributors to the workplace. Speaking over women, being patronizing with them or assuming that women who get promoted are sleeping their way to the top (rather than because of their hardship) is also inappropriate. Assuming that a woman is ‘PMSing’ or menstruating when she is frustrated or angry are also sexist remarks. These have an adverse effect on making women feel included in the workplace.

Employees must also keep their opinions on how the genders must behave to themselves. The word ‘gay’ is commonly used as an insult to describe something ‘bad’ or ‘unmanly’. Following are certain instances which do not warrant calling an individual ‘gay’.

• A co-worker wearing a pink shirt (a color associated with femininity)
• A male co-worker indulging in self-grooming (again, an activity associated with femininity)

Stereotyping the genders is also problematic. Stereotyping or in other words placing labels on people, results from making general assumptions about an individual with little or no personal knowledge about them. What happens when an individual makes an assumption about a co-worker is that they start looking for things to confirm their beliefs. This may cause the individual to treat their co-worker based on preconceived notions, and distract them from their professional engagements. Both men and women are stereotyped. For example, women may be stereotyped as sensitive, emotional and home-oriented. Men may be stereotyped as aggressive, dominant and blunt. Such stereotypical and judgmental behavior is unwarranted.

Your judgement on a co-worker’s personal life

Comments on an individual’s personal life are also unwanted in the workplace. How many times a co-worker has been married, or the number of children they have has nothing to do with their professional engagement. Making  a judgement on another co-worker’s spouse, or other aspects of their personal only ruin the professional relationship with the co-worker.

Flirtatious behavior

The workplace is not the right place for changing the dynamics of one’s social relationship with another co-worker. There exists a thin line between flirting and sexual harassment because of which flirtatious acts may be misinterpreted as sexual harassment. A wink, a smile, a gentle touch – all of these can be either taken as a friendly gesture or as an unwanted come-on. A multitude of factors could influence what is generally an ambiguous message. It is simply safer to abstain from flirting in the office.

Conclusion

While the following things must not be brought to the workplace, it must be kept in mind that the following no-no’s are subject to your equation with your co-worker(s). A co-worker may not be comfortable with any of the above-mentioned behaviors after spending a short-stint of time with you as a colleague. The situation can change after spending extended periods of time with another co-worker. If your equation with them thereafter becomes more personal, and they feel comfortable around you, then the above mentioned gestures and behaviors may not offend the other person. In the end, you must be aware and sensitive of how comfortable the other person is around you, and have fair perception on how they may interpret your actions.