3 Ways To Respond To Sexist Jokes At Work

Office environments are tricky spaces to navigate, especially when it’s a new one and you’re trying to settle in, build rapports or just getting used to the work. But if you’re a woman, chances are high that you will be hit by a curveball, unfortunately in the form of casual sexism. Now, sexism is quite the devil – it has many manifestations, both overt and subtle. From unwarranted interruptions, unnecessary and unsolicited explanations, discrimination in hiring against female candidates, especially if they’re about to get married or have a child to expecting backlash for saying ‘no’ to a colleague for a date, these are all well known instances of sexism. But this article will address one, often occurring and persistent form of sexism – sexist humour.

What is sexist humour? It’s the kind that “insults, stereotypes, victimizes, and/or objectifies a person on the basis of their gender.” (LaFrance & Woodzicka, 1998). You’ll find sexist humour trickle into the workplace in the form of sexual jokes, quips about gender roles and expectations, favourite repeats from last night’s Kapil Sharma show, and so on.

Sexist jokes are considered funny because sexism is normalised (part of our day-to-day lives), sexist behaviour is applauded and glorified (read: Kabir Singh) in popular culture and people are rarely penalised for it. In short, they mirror the society we live in.

It is definitely a challenge to identify, acknowledge and call out people for their sexist behaviour, moreso at the workplace, where power relations are skewed and gender parity, both in terms of population and pay, is far from ideal. An office where sexist jokes are rampant can make a work environment toxic and might make it difficult to survive in. To help navigate that space better, even make a dent in the culture of sexism, here are three ways of responding to sexist humor at the workplace [these will also work elsewhere, especially at family gatherings ;)] –

1) Don’t laugh.

Pretty straightforward and simple, huh? You validate a poorly strung sexist statement when you laugh at it. Practice your favourite poker face and give them a blank look. It’s a good thing you can’t add ‘haha’ noises in the background like they did on Friends. When you don’t laugh at a joke, chances are, some other people won’t laugh too because they might think it’s inappropriate too and just needed someone to take the lead. The more blank faces, the merrier.

2) Ask them to explain it.

So, what happens after you don’t laugh at the sexist joke? Ask them to explain it. Ask them to enlighten you with the many intricacies of their masterpiece. Amateurs will find it difficult to explain their jokes, the patriarchal mindset that made them think that way will show. For example, if jokes about a female colleague’s driving skills come up, ask them to explain why they think women are bad drivers. They won’t have much to back that statement with except for more sexist attitudes and assumptions. Just keep telling them you don’t get it. Your resistance might force them to think.

3) Have a conversation.

What do you do after forcing them to think why their sexist joke isn’t funny?If they’re open to it, and if you’re willing to, have a conversation about why you think the joke is offensive and derogatory and how that makes you feel. If it’s a woman who cracked the joke, talking to them about how they might have internalised misogyny/hatred. It might work, it might not. Remember, to preserve your mental health, time and energy. You’re not obligated to call out, deconstruct every single sexist joke ever cracked. Pick your battles. (I know, easier said than done.)

What’s the bottomline? General rule – it is possible to be funny without taking digs at those in a more disadvantaged position than you. In this context, anybody who is not a cishet man, is in some way or the other at a position with lesser privilege and/or resources to succeed in the workplace. If you have the privilege to be able to crack sexist, casteist, communal, ableist jokes, maybe use that energy to do better. Be better.

(The author is Rajkanya Mahapatra. She’s currently, a graduate student of international security at Sciences Po and a consultant with Ungender.)